How NOT to pick up Women

So after an interesting night out the other night, I was hit on by some interesting guys. It made me start to think about the ridiculous things guys do when trying to pick up women and while talking to my Mom she said something like "Well that should be tip number 1 on how to NOT pick up women." I decided to compile some tips of my own based on personal experiences. This is meant to be amusing! :)

Tip 1: Don’t lie about your level in school. Telling a law student that you’re a junior in law school, is like saying that you’re a junior in elementary school. It. Does. Not. Make. Sense.

Tip 2: If you’re going to wear a costume to a Halloween party and plan on trying to pick up a girl, make it a cool costume or at least something really witty. Wearing a spongebob costume, does not work.

Tip 3: If you’re going to try and get a girls number, do not pull out your phone in front of them with a picture of you and your girlfriend kissing on the background of said phone.

Tip 4: Don’t assume that when a girl says she has a boyfriend, that she is lying. (Even if she may be.) Just take the answer and go. Pressuring her, will not make you more attractive or make her give you her real number. It will make you look like a creeper. 

Tip 5: Don’t insult a girl when she is so frustrated with the situation she says she’s a lesbian and her friend is her girlfriend. Again, just take that excuse and walk away. Lying and saying you had just seen her friend kiss a boy will only piss off the friend who will threaten to find security. 

Tip 6: Do not touch a girl without asking. Do not touch a girl in an inappropriate way. Do not slap a girl on the ass. Its not sexy, its ridiculous! Also, its a crime. Don't do it.
Tip 7: If you offer to buy a girl a drink, don't get offended when she asks to go with you to the bar. She doesn't know you. Yes, you're PROBABLY a nice guy, BUT we're not going to take anything for granted. So thank you for the drink, but don't feel offended that we don't trust you yet. 
Tip 8: Ask us questions about ourselves and LISTEN to what we say. Thats the best way to make us feel comfortable with you. You don't have to be super suave to pick up women, you just need to be nice and make the girl feel comfortable.

Tip 9: Don't lie about things. If we do go out with you for a first date, and the car you come to pick us up in isn't a BMW or whatever, we will probably not trust you and won't want to have a relationship with you.
Tip 10: If a girl is interested in you, finish! You can tell by if she touches you, if she leans in to listen to you. If she smiles at you and makes eye contact. Trust your gut. Ask for her number. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying I'm so special that a guy has to be perfect or anything while approaching me. In fact, I think its shows a lot of courage for a guy to approach a girl, no matter what! BUT at the same time, women deserve respect and these tips are different things I or my friends have experienced. Learn from this! :)